Contacts List
by DwarvenVow
Summary: Cloud encounters a life-changing battle against his doubts and insecurities...over making a phone call. CloTi


Before, it had been far too easy to just avoid coming home. He had so many reasons to stay away, so many distractions and so much guilt and troubles to handle on his own. Cloud was too involved in keeping the truth of his affliction away from his family to feel lonely.

After all had been said and done, he _almost_ wished he had such a distraction again. He missed them so much, his heart hurt.

His weeks-long deliveries felt like eternity. Now, he would dream of them at night, smiles and laughter of people miles away plaguing him and weighing down on him. He was missing so much-how did he ever take that for granted before?

Every time he would get a phone call, unlike in times before, he would answer immediately, flipping the phone open to eagerly hear that sweet, affectionate voice, and he could just see those warm, wine-colored eyes softening at his response. It was never a waste of time to answer, even if it was just Marlene calling to tell on Denzel for mummifying her doll with toilet paper or something just as ridiculous.

Tifa made sure they called him as often as possible now that he was picking up.

But there were days when he knew that the bar was packed and Tifa must've been up to her neck in work, or Marlene and Denzel left for a weekend or so to spend time with Barret. Those times, calls were understandably less frequent. And it had been on one of those particular days when Cloud found himself in the middle of nowhere off to the side of the road, a large package waiting to be delivered strapped to the back of Fenrir, silently sitting on the bike, just staring at his phone.

For a whole fifteen minutes, he lingered there on the grass, clutching the contraption in his hand. A couple of times, a vehicle would stop beside him, and someone would inquire if he needed help.

He shook his head no, and the driver would shrug and drive away. His bike was fine. He was just so bloody _homesick_.

And he missed their voices. He missed _Tifa's_ voice the most. She was so encouraging. So welcoming. He had been away from home for three weeks and he hadn't heard from her since yesterday!

Cloud adjusted his shades, awkwardly swallowing down a lump in his throat. He suddenly felt clingy and pathetic. Before, he had gone months without speaking with any of them, and now he couldn't last a whole twenty-four hours before breaking down?

For the twentieth time, he replayed a recorded message on speaker from his phone, just listening, his gaze far away. It was the three of them, and it was a message they had left on his voicemail when he was unable to answer last week (he had been dropping off a package and left his phone outside on Fenrir).

_"Clouuud!" _the three voices sang cheerfully, _"We miss you!"_

He smiled every time he heard it. The sounds of muffled laughter faded off into the background, and Tifa's voice took over, light, cheerful, and soothing to his very heart.

_"We'll call you back later. Just checking up on you. We miss you so much. I'll make your favorite when you come home, okay? *BEEP* End of message."_

Cloud sighed and flipped the phone closed, rolling his shoulders and trying to work the tension from them. The way he was slouching on the seat of his cycle wasn't helping the pain much, but...he lacked motivation. He wanted to hear Tifa for real.

But she hadn't called all day. He frowned down at the phone. Should he wait until receiving a call? What if she wasn't available? Too busy? He'd be waiting here forever.

It took him a whole five minutes of staring for it to occur to him. Maybe this time, _Cloud_ should do the calling?

...Just the very thought of that had Cloud sweating and shaking in teenage-like anxiety.

It wasn't that he didn't want to speak with his family! Really! He just had this rather irrational insecurity about making a phonecall on his own. He was always the one answering, never one to reach out by himself, allowing others to take iniative for him.

He was just..._shy_.

Since childhood, he was unable to even make a presentation in his elementary classes - other students would point and laugh and throw wads of crumpled paper at him, his teacher doing little to stop it. And no one ever called him at home, so why did he even bother to try calling others? It was unheard of. And scary.

The only time he'd ever considered to make the call himself, he was so young. He'd spotted Tifa's number scrawled out across the cover of her notebook, quickly jotting down at the bottom of his notes next to his doodles of the pretty young girl who sat next to him and never noticed him.

That night, he stared long and intensely at the phone next to his mother's bed, just as he did now, at his own cellphone. He never did call Tifa when he was a child - he was too scared her big, scary father would pick up instead of her.

Back then, he had that excuse to forget about it. This time, he knew Tifa would answer.

His friends would never hear the end of it if they found out that the man who conquered over his own doubts, his own guilt, his own enemies and demons, and _Sephiroth_ multiple times cowered like a child at the thought of calling the girl he had a crush on.

It would be so simple. All he had to do was scroll through his contacts, select 'Tifa/Home,' and press the little green button.

...Right. If he could stop his palms from sweating and his thumb from shaking and his heart from leaping out of his chest. He felt so ridiculous.

He pulled his shades off violently and wiped his sweaty brow. _'Do it, Cloud, just press it! Press the button!'_ the childlike voice in his head implored him. _'If you don't do it now, you'll _never_ get Tifa's attention!'_

That was all he'd ever wanted.

Tifa's attention.

And that thought spurred him to push the green button. This would be good, he forced himself to think. This would be good. He'd get over his insecurities about making phone calls, and he'd miss her less if he heard her voice, and the pain in his chest would ebb away a little bit!

The dial tone stopped as someone picked up on the line. Cloud stiffened, adjusting his collar as if trying to look as good as possible-ridiculous, considering Tifa wasn't even there to see him.

_"...Hello."_ The tone was flat and even. And a man.

Cloud froze, lips pursed, eyes shooting open, his whole body tense.

A man? A _man_? Why the hell would any _man_ other than himself answer the phone at Seventh Heaven?! Questions zoomed across his mind, and his nervousness was swiped away by an intense jealousy he had never felt before.

"...Who's _this_?" Cloud growled into the phone, teeth clenched. His gloved hands squeezed the phone at his ear.

_"...Cloud. You called _me_."_

The blond blinked, eyebrows furrowing as he pulled the phone to look at the screen. And it hit him. He had selected 'Vincent' on accident, as he was one selection below 'Tifa/Home' on his contacts list.

Figured that the first time he'd make a phone call, he'd screw it up royally.

Anxiety came flooding right back to him and he fumbled, scrambling with the phone and pressing several buttons on accident before finding the red button, ending the call. As soon as he heard that beep, he slumped over on Fenrir, arm hanging loosely over the side of his bike, forehead pressed between the handlebars. Then he lifted his head to let it bonk onto the bike again. And again.

Everything sucked. It just did. And now, he missed his family even more.

He released a breath, telling himself to focus. He wanted to hear her voice, right? He wanted to check on his family, didn't he? He turned his head to stare down at the phone, hanging down from his hand over the side of the bike, the screen staring at him.

Cloud pressed the up button. 'Tifa/Home' was now safely highlighted.

His gloved thumb hovered over the green button.

With a groan, he could almost hear Aerith and Zack laughing at him right now. _'You're being so silly,'_ she'd say. _'Suck it up and just call!'_ he'd say.

His eyes hardened, his jaw set, and he pressed the button.

Sitting up, he prepared himself, listening to the dial tone and placing the phone next to his ear. And his breath hitched when he heard the line being picked up.

_"Strife Delivery Service! You name it, we deliver it! How can I help you?"_

For a long moment, all Cloud could do was listen, replaying her voice in his head over and over again. A small smile bloomed across his face before he even knew it.

_"...Hello?"_

"...Tifa." The reply was a mere whisper, reverent and appreciative.

The surprise in her voice was evident, but not unpleasantly so. _"...Cloud! You called!"_ He was a little disappointed with himself that she was so surprised that he was the one to reach out this time. _"It's great to hear from you! Is everything all right?"_

He almost chuckled, his smile growing fonder and the warmth in his chest spreading. "Everything's...great. Just wanted to check up on you and the kids. I..." He trailed off, deciding whether or not to continue.

_"Oh, Cloud...that's so thoughtful...We're all just fine. They're outside playing now. If you want to talk to them, I'll go get them for you-"_

He interrupted her, hardly registering her words and only listening to the sound of her voice. "I missed you."

There was silence on the other end, and Cloud almost thought she had hung up. _"...We miss you so much. _I _miss you so much."_

His shoulders relaxed. "...Let the kids play. I'll...I'll call again later after I make one last delivery."

_"...Good. I can't wait to hear from you then."_

It was quiet for a long moment, before he spoke again. "I'll be home as soon as I can, Tifa. And...hold off on accepting any more deliveries for the next week or so."

He heard a small laugh, not a sweet girlish giggle or an obnoxious snort, but a soft, musical laughter that was so _Tifa_ that it made his chest hurt. _"Sure thing. Drive safe. And...I can't wait to see you."_

"...Mm. Same here."

_"Bye, Cloud. I..."_ she trailed off, before continuing, _"I'll talk to you later!"_

"Bye, Tifa."

He waited for her to hang up first, before lowering his phone and pressing the red button. He breathed in deeply.

He was wrong. He didn't miss her less. If anything, he missed her so much more, but at least he had the strength and motivation to keep moving. And once again, Tifa had unknowingly helped him overcome another fear in his life.

With a smile, he prepared to set out again, feeling rejuvenated. However, he heard a little jingle from his phone. Odd. Most of his friends would just call instead of text - except for Yuffie.

...And it was no wonder that it _was_ from her.

_'Yuffie - _

_Vincent says ur an idiot. Y's that?'_

He chuckled, deleting the message, pocketing his phone, and moving on with his life.


End file.
